Quantitative Qualification

Nov 11, 2008

 

"When dummies have children, you gone have a dummy for a child."--Unknown

I recently heard this comment while listening to libradio.com, and was immediately reminded of discourse I heard at another time on the same station. One person was making the case for the support of fertility and reproduction among black women. He was laying out statistics for the number of aborted black babies over a given period of time and surmised that the prosperity of black people in this country is contingent upon a reduction in abortions among black women of child bearing age. In a nutshell, he is pro population increase among black folk no matter what.

The other person, clearly less of a population increase enthusiast than the first, was making an argument based on the likely quality of many of the children being brought forth. He questioned whether it's worth it to be so "pro black babies" if they're gonna turn out to be what he considers low quality. He supported his position by referencing (what he obviously perceives to be) the destructive and unhealthy mentality of the mostly young folk who are having and raising babies. While I can't recall any specific examples being given. I do have an idea of the kind of mentality he spoke of.

Although I fully understand and empathize with each stance taken during the duration of the conversation, I've yet to reconcile my own thoughts on the matter. Much like the first brother, I'm pro-baby. (And for clarification, this is to say nothing in the way of the whole "pro-life" or "pro-choice" mania that often consumes the minds of many in this country. I'm simply saying that I like babies and am happy in knowing that new ones are constantly arriving.) The idea of more black babies being born makes my heart smile. :-D Yet, I can't ignore the second brother's position on what he feels is a concern where the fostering of these babies is concerned in this modern era. I mean, I personally become disheartened by some of what I see on a frequent basis in regards to child/parent relationships in my own community. Even in my despondency, I'm not likely to conclude that certain people shouldn't have children. Or that there should be a halt in reproduction until young parents are able to realize a better model for child rearing. At the same time though, seems to me that there is a cause for intervention in some cases. And I don't mean Child Protective Services. What exactly is to be done and how, I'm not sure. It's a very delicate topic and likely runs deeper than is readily discernible.

I really don't have an answer or conclusion. Just sharing.


peace

Count Me In

Dec 23, 2008

 

Yesterday I decided that I wasn't gonna do anything tangibly productive. No sewing. No cooking. No cleaning. No nothing. (Although I did end up sauteing some kale.)
Anyway, I went to the library and checked out 7 dvds, got back home, and commenced to lying bundled up on the couch while viewing them on my computer. (Yeah, it's going on 2009 and I've never owned an actual, "connect it to your t.v." dvd player.)
The films I checked out include George Washington, Sicko, Daughters of the Dust, and The Handmaid's Tale. The one that's relevant to this post is Maxed Out. I'd seen it before but got it again just cause. This time around somtheing that caught my attetention near the beginning was a comment by the guy who hosted Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. He said a lot of stuff, but the part that stuck with me was a statement he made in regards to people's fascination with the way rich, famous folks live.
And I quote:
"Nobody would watch lifestyles of the poor and unknown."
That made me think. Actually, I for one probably would watch a show of that nature, because there's something about the way materially "poor" people live that fascinates me. The way they're able to survive and the methods employed in order to ensure that survival is pretty intriguing. To me anyway.
Seeing as how I'm one who wouldn't be classified as rich or even upper or middle class and know what it is to have to "make do" with what you have, I've got a pretty strong appreciation for others who have the knowledge and ability to do the same. Futher, as a product of the very rural south seeing people living that way is/was the norm. It isn't to say that rural living implies "poorness"; there were certainly those in my community who did have; but there were definitely more who didn't. They still got by, though. Usually with much merriment and joy.
And even while this form of living isn't really anything new to my experience, I'd still watch a show on it. (Hopefully it wouldn't be biased and skewed. We are talkimg and t.v. and media afterall.) Even if I were to ever achieve the status of "rich and famous," I'd like too keep some of those jewels from the "poor and unknown" in my arsenal of knowledge. Seems only right to me.
peace

Change, please.

Jan 12, 2009

 

(And I'm not talking about coins.)


At some point during my childhood--I think age 10 or 11--I had an accident. My cousin and I were riding our bikes down a steep hill, as we frequently did, trying to see who could go the fastest. Something must have been wrong with one of my tires, or it just wasn't a good day for going so fast,cause before I knew it, me and my bike were over in the ditch. A deep ditch. I was in pain, but it wasn't so bad. Until I saw the blood coming form my mouth. I panicked, jumped up, and ran all the way home crying and thinking surely I was bleeding to death. My cousin followed behind me on her bike. Soon enough I was calmed down by my mother and the bleeding was brought under control. Turned out that in the crash I'd bitten down on the inside of my mouth causing a small cut. Apparently it was a pretty hard bite, because when I was observing my inner lip in the mirror I noticed that one of my front teeth was now slightly chipped in the bottom corner. I just shrugged it off, figuring it was a natural part of my youthfulness. I'd go on to have many more cuts and bruises and marks resulting from falls and bike crashes and ant bites and the like. My cousin did the same (She ended up having a bike accident during which a small rock managed to embed itself in her forehead. The scar stands to this day)
Life went on.
Fast forward to October 2008. I'm at the dentist (a new dentist for me) for a checkup. The lady tells me everything she needs to tell me then proceeds to tell me that my tooth should be "fixed." Her position was that, as a designer (she'd inquired about my "occupation" to assist her in her sales pitch, I suppose) I'd be meeting and talking to new people all the time, so it was important that I have a "perfect smile." I'm guessing a chipped front tooth does not exemplify perfection. She wasn't asking me how I felt about it. She was telling me how I should feel about it.
Never in the 15-16 years since that accident has the tooth posed a problem for me. In all my years of going to dentists and meeting people and talking to people has it been an issue. Further, I'm quite content with it the way it is and sport it proudly as a nostalgic memory.

As a person who understands business and what the bottom line is ($$$), I know that it's in the dentist's best interest to squeeze as much money out of me as possible. "Perfecting" my smile would have meant more money in her pocket. Knowing this and knowing that I have no worries about the tooth, I didn't take what she was saying personally.
But what about the cases where references to one's "imperfections" are taken personally? Seems that sometimes people are fine and secure with themselves until someone else--it only takes one single person--comes along and implies that they aren't good enough as they are. They're told that their smile or nose or way of speaking or place of origin or whatever isn't sufficient. So they have a cosmetic dental procedure or they cut/color/curl/straighten/add weave to their hair or they have nose surgery or they try to abandon their accent in order to speak "better" or they pretend to be from some place they're not. All because they've suddenly been told--after so many years of being perfectly fine with themselves--that they should change. (and I put "please" in the title, but many times it might be a demand.)

To me this is pretty tragic and detrimental to the individualism that apparently--based on the prevailing differences among people of the world--is meant to be.
I mean, isn't individuality a good thing??
peace

Disconnect

Feb 25, 2009

 

The other day a local woman was arrested for repeatedly running over her 11 year old son with her SUV til he died. (read story here). There isn't much information on her motivation. All that's factual to me is that she did it and the child is dead. Such a sad situation.

The thing that gets me in stories like this or any other story where someone unexpectedly shot someone, beat someone, cut someone, burned down a building, raped someone, molested a child, or any other number of tragic events that occur all too frequently is the response of those who know/knew the person who committed the act. Is it just the case where I live or is it a universal thing that the accused in these sorts of situations are always lauded as good people before the crime? I find it almost always to be the case that the ones being interviewed on the news or in the newspaper have nothing but positive things to say about the one being charged....how they were well-known and liked in the community; how they came from a good family; how they always attended PTA meetings and other school activities; how they were in church every week; how they always were upbeat and happy; how they never seemed violent or distempered; how it's so unbelievable that they'd commit such an act. And so on and so forth.
This always baffles my mind. It's not to say that these people couldn't have been all these things. Considering that I don't know any more about them than what I hear or read, I have no authority to say they were not and can only take the word of those who knew them. And I'm not likely to say that those who knew/know them are lying. In fact, I'm more inclined to believe them, especially since I know people don't always outwardly portray there inner selves, feeling, or thoughts.

It's just always been very curious to me.

What breakdown occurs to make someone who was apparently such an asset to society snap and commit an act that takes the life of someone else (or violate someone else) and lands them in an unfavorable legal position that'll dictate their lived from here on out (in most cases)? Now if, for instance, in the case of the woman mentioned above, someone got on the news and said, "Well, I saw it coming. She was always abusing the child," then it'd be more balanced..like this:

She always abused the child.

And

One day she really snapped and killed him.

But:

She was such a good mother and did everything right.

And

One day she snapped and killed him

Doesn't balance out for me where the dialogue about these sorts of matter is concerned.

And I'm not saying anything about whether or not she was justified in her actions, since I'm not in the position to do so (though it does break my heart). I just wonder about the inconsistency between the way some of the people are described and the actions they take that negate those descriptions.

peace

Yes!

April 15, 2009



I decided today that I'm gonna give saying "no" a break for a minute and say "yes" more. It hit me while I was in the grocery store earlier. I go through this from time to time and will probably be back to saying "no" on a regular basis next week, ha!

But for now it's, "Yes!" (well not to everything ;-)

And speaking of "yes," one of my current guilty pleasure jaaaaaaams:




Yeah, Lil' Wayne and all.



___________________________________________________________
**I just came back from a solo drive to Atlanta and other places and had the most interesting and hilarious time. I picked up some icky germ somewhere along the way, though (runny nose, fatigue, etc.), and that ain't cool. But still, "Yes!"

**I really came here to talk about something else, but got sidetracked, so this is random.

"I turn ya on like a handle..."

peace!!!

When It All Falls Down

Jun 29, 2010

 

i recently returned from spending 3.5 days in algiers point, new orleans. following the incidences said to have been the result of a hurrican called "katrina", i heard about the senseless "race" related shootings/killings that took place in algiers point as those who fled their homes in the city sought refuge in this particular, virtually untouched neighborhood.

while there this past weekend, i was told more stories of hateful events that took place against black individuals at the hands of white males. then tonight i can across this in depth article

http://www.thenation.com/article/katrinas-hidden-race-war?page=0,0

and got chills as i read about these killings taking place on the very street that i walked on bare foot--and alone--sunday night trying to catch a cool breeze. it made me shudder to see in the article the names of streets and intersections that i recently became familiar with just so i could know my way around during the brief period of my stay in algiers.

opelousas
alix
vallette
patterson

the very street on which my place of residence while i was there is housed is also the street where a black man was gunned down while trying to find some relief from flood waters and chaos.

it was devastating to read/hear about before and even more touching now. in all matters dealing with the brutal treatment and killing of black people i always say to myself. "it could have been me" because of who i am by nature. given the circumstances surrounding my place and time in this world i suppose, it has yet to be. but i always feel like it could have been and could be. people are sick.


at the end of the day, there's the possibility that anything can and will go when dealing with the psychology of insane people who apparently are capable of being even more insane when they're in a state of fear. this is nothing new. we've got to be ready.

peace!

In Truth

Jul 17, 2010

"I realize we are in truth the truth we seek
god
perfect
this very moment."--Me'Shell NdegeOcello


nature dress

the other day--wednesday--i sat in the house feeling like my head would surely explode at any moment. there's been so much going on in my world lately, and at one point on wednesday, it's like it was all running together. in my mind. until finally i hit a wall. mentally. couldn't think/worry/stress anymore. my head felt tight. strained. and forget about designing/sewing. inspiration and the motivation to do so had been foreign to me lately. i thought it must be the feeling a balloon would have if it were filled to capacity with air and could feel. that feeling of needing release. deflating.

i got up and went outside to sit at a nearby lake and watch the water be peaceful and the animals--ducks, squirrels, etc.--play.

it didn't take long before i felt it. deflation. i literally felt myself, my mind letting go. i felt the tension leaving. until i reached a place on non-thought. i was just there. existing. mentally peaceful. then i had the desire to create something. it was an urgent, almost violent need.

i returned inside, stood in the doorway of my sewing room, and three differnt fabrics immediately caught my eye, and the idea for them came to me instantly. something simple. perfect. not too long after that, i had a dress. (see above)

i feel like i was saved that day. led. guided. set free.

and i knew what it would take to get there. it was in me. what i had to do was in me. i flowed with it, and understood--had it shown to me for the first time in a long time--that i am that truth. we are.

peace!!!