Bold and Deliberate

Mar 17, 2007

 

so there's this vine growing through the top of my kitchen window and it recently developed some bright green leaves. i'm lovin' it to life. i've always been mindful of the way vines just do their thing regardless. and all of nature for that matter. like the way a bright yellow flower will burst through cracks in concrete. or how roots of a tree will just shatter a sidewalk. so i started thinking, i need to be just as bold in my positive endeavors at all times. no inhibitions. just doing my thing cause that's all i know how to do. growing. progressing. continually going forward. with no insecurities or doubts. letting nothing hold me back. just like every other natural entity does. yep. flytie to the fullest. ;-)






"if this life is heaven, can we live like the stars?"--Fertile Ground


peace.

Stand Firm.

Apr 8, 2008

 

last week i was in the store on one aisle and heard the following conversation on another aisle between a young child (maybe 3-4 yrs. old) and someone who i assumed was her mother.

judging from what i heard, the girl must have been asking for a particular item. it went something like:

woman: i’ll get it for you, but you can only have one.

girl: i want 2.

woman: no. you can only get one. which one do you want?

girl: 2

woman: you’re only getting 1!!

girl: but i want 2.

woman: pick one so we can go.

girl: 2.

woman: one or none!

girl: 2.

*end conversation*

the way in which it all went down was just great.

the thing i loved about it is that the child never raised her voice or threw a fit, but you could hear the firmness and determination in her tone. for her, to get less than 2 of whatever she was asking for was not an option. i could just picture her standing there with her hands on her hips while wearing a super woman cape blowing in the wind. ok. there was no wind and no cape, but that’s what i thought of. you know, something like those typical superman images but in girl/woman form.

(for those of you familiar with pages 240-241 of Anthony Browder’s Nile Valley Contributions to Civilization no need to fret. the child was of the same persuasion as those usually depicted in the super people images, so *my* mental images weren’t distorted, ha ha!)

the girl knew what she wanted and didn’t back down. i really appreciated how defiant and assured of herself she was.

i don’t know whether she got 0, 1, or 2, but things seemed peaceful when i saw them walk by.

witnessing that was right on time, since i was running some situations through my mind and feeling a bit unsure about whether i should initiate certain things. she remined me of the importance of being "bold and delibarate" in my actions and requests.

seems that i’m always in places hearing things that, when i think about it, can usually be applied to my life in one form or another.

i can dig it.

peace.

"Ain't I A Woman?"

June 20, 2008

 

Something I heard on libradio recently reminded me of something I thought about a while back and might have mentioned in a previous blog. There's long been this whole issue of "teenage pregnancy" and girls giving birth at a young age. People and organizations are constantly pushing abstinence, latex condoms, and "safe sex" for young girls throughout their teen years. However, when they hit 20 and are no longer teens, no one comes to them and says, "Ok, you're now out of the teen pregnancy statistic zone. You can start making babies." Therefore, in essence, the whole push to prevent teenage pregnancy has the potential to become a lifelong phenomenon where the girl, as she grows into a woman, never realizes that it's "ok" to have a baby.

I can relate this to my own life. Here I am at 25 and I still feel like I'm too young to have a baby. When I was a teenager, so much fear was instilled in me when it came to getting pregnant, and when I was out of the teen zone, that fear never went away. When I turned 20, no one ever came to me with the same determination and concern that they had when I was young and encouraged me to start having babies.

As a teen I saw one of my close cousins get pregnant at the age of 16 and heard how everyone was all over her case about it. One of my good friends got pregnant at 14 and I heard everyone in church tear her down. One of my "play cousins" who was a lead singer in the church choir also got pregnant at 14, and I heard everyone talk down about her and her parents. My dad gave me a lecture when one of my cousins on that side of the family got pregnant. And the killing part about it is that she was no longer a teen. But since I was still a teen at that time, he wanted to let me know that I'd better not come up pregnant (funny, cause at that time I was a major tomboy and could care less about doing the do.) My mom had me at 17 and I know how hard she had it. And it goes on and on. All this coupled with all the "well-meaning" commercials and lectures from random people resulted in me having a literal fear of pregnancy. And I can honestly say that at 25 it hasn't completely vanished.

All this is not to say that I'm ready to have children. I know I'm not ready right at this moment, but some day I would like to have some little ones. Or maybe a little one. :-) But it's absolutely insane to me how I still carry part of that same mentality regarding pregnancy (for myself) that I did when I was a teen. The other day a lady approached me with some pamphlets that she wanted me to read. One was concerning "ethnic integration" or something like that and the other was concerning raising a family. Well, when she went to give me the one about family, she said, "Well, you're too young to have children, but I'll give it to you anyway." Now I know that sometimes I have a tendency to appear younger than I am (and often feel like I'm about 10), and I'm sure the woman meant no harm by the comment, but it just made me think about this whole thing all over again. It's like, at that moment when she made the comment, I reverted back to when I was 15 and thought, "I am too young to have a baby." It's brainwashing for life, I tell you!!

Now anyone who listens to libradio knows that keidi speaks on the subject of population control and eugenics to a great extent. The day that this whole teen pregnancy issue was being discussed he was relating it to the eugenics movement, basically saying that the fertility of black women in the US and other countries was not and has not been something that's necessarily been promoted or supported. Rather, there has been and apparently still is a deliberate movement to prevent the increase of the black population (Planned Parenthood, Margaret Sanger, etc.)

I'm not gonna get into that whole discussion right now, but I can say that if young black girls have the same fear towards pregnancy that I did when I was their age and carry it over into their latter years, then we might have a problem.

I'm glad to say that my views toward "teen pregnancy" aren't the same as they were when I was a teen…back when, in my mind, it was synonymous with the plague. Yet, as a woman in my mid 20's (eeek!) I still need to release some of those mental shackles where *me giving birth* is concerned.

Wait...what..?..?

Jul 25, 2008

 

last night i was at someone's house and they just happened to have the tv turned to another of those programs that say this, say that, show the unfortunate situations and struggling people, don't deal with the roots of the problems, then appoint the usual suspects or the usual suspect mentality/view point to offer solutions that, in my opinion, are superficial and irrelevant. I believe this time it was called "Black in America."

as i was on the couch dozing off, i heard a mcdonald's commercial that was, naturally, targeted towards black folk. since i'm used to typical advertizing strategies, i thought nothing of it. (and i don't necessarily just mean advertising towards a specific demographic. i'm also mostly talking about how companies have the ability to package inferior products nicely and present them to the public in an appealing manner...through the employment of cute children, soothing voice overs, etc). but then i heard the 3 words, "good wholesome food." in my foggy, half asleep state, i thought to myself, "wait a minute. that couldn't have been right. mcdonal's describing their food as wholesome??" so i waited til the commercial aired again (knowing it would), and sure enough, they were saying something about the food being wholesome. does anyone else find this laughable? or maybe sad is more like it.

from dictionary.com:

whole·some
–adjective
1. conducive to moral or general well-being; salutary; beneficial: wholesome recreation; wholesome environment.
2. conducive to bodily health; healthful; salubrious: wholesome food; wholesome air; wholesome exercise.
3. suggestive of physical or moral health, esp. in appearance.
4. healthy or sound.


now, i realize i may have missed something. here lately i don't see commercials or read a lot of advertising. somewhere along the way mcdonald's may have become wholesome. but if not, these people are trippin'. it's bad enough that they and those corporations like them are even able to market death on a mass scale the way they do but to take it to the next level where they're trying to come across as providers of wholesome food is just ridiculous.

hopefully this won't seem like just another fast food bashing post. i've pretty much come to terms with what fast food is and the fact that people choose to partake in it. hey, it is what it is. but wholesome...? come on, now.

peace.

Mirrors

Aug 16, 2008

 

i am becoming less and less and less and less tolerant of others holding back for numerous reasons that, when it all comes down to it, amount to fear.

which in essence means...

i am becoming less and less and less and less..and less tolerant of me holding back for numerous reasons that, when it all comes down to it, amount to...fear.


"may we forever do our thang."


peace

Power Source

Sep 7, 2008

 

ok. for the sake of making the story easier to tell, i'll refer to the main characters by their sex and "race".

at the post office the other day i'm standing in line behind an elder black lady. a white lady walks in and gets in line 2 people behind me. a guy walks in that the white lady apparently knew, and they proceed to make small talk. the guy asks how she'd made out in the hurricane. the lady answers that her property is fine but she and her husband were in paris when it hit, so she hadn't had to go through it. they both kinda laugh a little, make more small talk, bid each other a good day, and the man walks out. (he'd only come in to pick up some forms or something)

it's quiet in there, so the conversation is heard by all. the black lady turns to me and says in a low voice, "you heard her say she was in paaaaris during the storm??", while making a funny face. i reply with a smile and generic line, "yeah. musta been nice." her: "humph!!! paaaris. that's ok there's another hurricane on the way. it's gone get 'em. don't worry!"

at this point i just look at her.

so i'm guessing the black lady was offended that the woman said she'd been in paris during the hurricane. (and for the record, the white lady didn't say "paaaaris" all dragged out like that as the black lady made it seem. she just said "paris".) to me the women didn't come across as snooty or above everybody else when she told the man she'd been out of the country. she was simply stating what was.

but the killing thing about it is the way the black lady turned to me as if i was supposed to turn my nose up with her or something and be bitter towards that lady for saying she was in paris, lol! i mean dang. i wonder what would have happened if i'd told her that i hadn't experienced the storm either, cause i was in dallas. but maybe dallas wouldn't have gotten as big of a rise out of her as paris did. lmao!

but it made me think of something. this scenario seems pretty common. people hold animosity towards others for unjustifiable reasons. someone stating something or representing something that you (general) perceive to be above your current life experience doesn't mean that that person thinks they're more than you. it could very well be all in your head and a reflection of your own insecurities.

yeah, there certainly are instances where people feel like what they have or their high status in society (which, to me, really has nothing to do with who they truly are) sets them on a higher level than others and they look down on these others with contempt. but i don't think it's healthy or conducive to sanity to just go around assuming that this is the case. and i'm only assuming that this is what the black lady was doing, so maybe i'm wrong too. but that's just how it came across.
(and maybe i shoulda brought this point up to her.)

it's like exchanging your power for some wack a** depleted energy that you concocted and use against yourself to your own detriment. such a shame.


peace

Quantitative Qualification

Nov 11, 2008

 

"When dummies have children, you gone have a dummy for a child."--Unknown

I recently heard this comment while listening to libradio.com, and was immediately reminded of discourse I heard at another time on the same station. One person was making the case for the support of fertility and reproduction among black women. He was laying out statistics for the number of aborted black babies over a given period of time and surmised that the prosperity of black people in this country is contingent upon a reduction in abortions among black women of child bearing age. In a nutshell, he is pro population increase among black folk no matter what.

The other person, clearly less of a population increase enthusiast than the first, was making an argument based on the likely quality of many of the children being brought forth. He questioned whether it's worth it to be so "pro black babies" if they're gonna turn out to be what he considers low quality. He supported his position by referencing (what he obviously perceives to be) the destructive and unhealthy mentality of the mostly young folk who are having and raising babies. While I can't recall any specific examples being given. I do have an idea of the kind of mentality he spoke of.

Although I fully understand and empathize with each stance taken during the duration of the conversation, I've yet to reconcile my own thoughts on the matter. Much like the first brother, I'm pro-baby. (And for clarification, this is to say nothing in the way of the whole "pro-life" or "pro-choice" mania that often consumes the minds of many in this country. I'm simply saying that I like babies and am happy in knowing that new ones are constantly arriving.) The idea of more black babies being born makes my heart smile. :-D Yet, I can't ignore the second brother's position on what he feels is a concern where the fostering of these babies is concerned in this modern era. I mean, I personally become disheartened by some of what I see on a frequent basis in regards to child/parent relationships in my own community. Even in my despondency, I'm not likely to conclude that certain people shouldn't have children. Or that there should be a halt in reproduction until young parents are able to realize a better model for child rearing. At the same time though, seems to me that there is a cause for intervention in some cases. And I don't mean Child Protective Services. What exactly is to be done and how, I'm not sure. It's a very delicate topic and likely runs deeper than is readily discernible.

I really don't have an answer or conclusion. Just sharing.


peace