Tuesday, October 2, 2012

In Truth

Jul 17, 2010

"I realize we are in truth the truth we seek
this very moment."--Me'Shell NdegeOcello

nature dress

the other day--wednesday--i sat in the house feeling like my head would surely explode at any moment. there's been so much going on in my world lately, and at one point on wednesday, it's like it was all running together. in my mind. until finally i hit a wall. mentally. couldn't think/worry/stress anymore. my head felt tight. strained. and forget about designing/sewing. inspiration and the motivation to do so had been foreign to me lately. i thought it must be the feeling a balloon would have if it were filled to capacity with air and could feel. that feeling of needing release. deflating.

i got up and went outside to sit at a nearby lake and watch the water be peaceful and the animals--ducks, squirrels, etc.--play.

it didn't take long before i felt it. deflation. i literally felt myself, my mind letting go. i felt the tension leaving. until i reached a place on non-thought. i was just there. existing. mentally peaceful. then i had the desire to create something. it was an urgent, almost violent need.

i returned inside, stood in the doorway of my sewing room, and three differnt fabrics immediately caught my eye, and the idea for them came to me instantly. something simple. perfect. not too long after that, i had a dress. (see above)

i feel like i was saved that day. led. guided. set free.

and i knew what it would take to get there. it was in me. what i had to do was in me. i flowed with it, and understood--had it shown to me for the first time in a long time--that i am that truth. we are.


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